Episode 177: Three Vivid Moments That Brought Me Back To Life

Do you ever feel like life is dry as a bone? Or scary as a rollercoaster?

Do you ever feel so far from your inner spark, you forget what that flame even feels like?

I relate. So much so that I recorded a new podcast episode about three times I lost my spark, and how I found my way back to it.

I’ve had plenty of firework moments in my life, and I’m grateful for all of them.

But the more experience I gain in embodiment, the less I crave experiences of peak intensity to come back to myself.

It used to take a darn near second line parade to bring me back to life. But now, it’s little things like…

The feeling of shea butter on warm hands.
The glimmer of sequins in sunlight.
The click-clack of high heels during visiting hours at a hospital, while fumbling armfuls of orchids.

(Okay that one may have been a little bit intense.)

These are all examples of the vivid moments you’ll hear in today’s episode, along with powerful invitations to create more moments of your own.

Whether your inner flame is barely flickering or full snap-crackle-popping, come sit down with this episode and warm your hands by the fire.

With love and snap-crackle,
Mary

P.S. The Sanctuary is open for new members through June 25th—yee-ha! When you join this week, you’ll receive a beautiful, printed copy of the brand-new Everyday Sensualist 30-Day Journal as a gift. A limited-time offer to stir your senses and savor your life - who could resist? 💐 Enter The Secret Garden Here

• 177 Transcript. Three Vivid Moments That Brought Me Back To Life

  Three Vivid Moments That Brought Me Back To Life 

   Hello beautiful and welcome to the Come to Your Senses podcast. I'm your host, award winning certified feminine embodiment coach, licensed esthetician, and enthusiastic foster dog mama to animals across the land. Mary Lofgren Here we explore how to bring more richness, radiance, peace and pleasure to our lives, homes and hearts through the joy of beauty, the wisdom of the body, the warmth of connection, and the splendor of the senses. I'm so glad you're here. Pull up a pouf and let's dive in. Hello, beautiful beings, and welcome to today's episode, which is all about glimmering, tiny moments that brought me back to life. Now, as I've shared on this podcast many times, I've had a lot of wrecking ball moments in my life that have initiated a rise and a big triumphant comeback. But today's episode is about the little things that we do that bring an unexpected level of life force, often through the medium of zany joy. Okay. I am a lover of zany joy. And what inspired this episode is, when I was a teenager, I used to volunteer in the office at my mom's office. She was a home health nurse, and she worked in an office of all women, and I was just obsessed with answering the phone. And I loved to say thank you for calling. Insert name of company Home Health. This is Mary speaking. How may I help you? It made me feel so adult and I think it was the seedlings of myself as an entrepreneur. But anyway, there was a woman who worked in the office, Georgia. And actually, I know that some of my mom's colleagues from that time listen to this podcast, Elbow in you and the ribs. Sandy and Georgia would always say to me, Mary, you're so fun. You know I would. Be notorious for putting stickers on memos, and I would, whenever I would go eat fast food. We ate a lot of fast food when I was a teenager. I would always get a Happy Meal because I loved getting the toy and I would leave the toys on people's desks. And you know, it's always been a talent and a passion of mine to bring the effervescence and the champagne bubbles to a situation. On one side of the spectrum. I think that was a coping mechanism growing up, to bring humor into difficult situations. And as an adult, it continues to be that at times. But it also, I think and I feel is a unique trait that I'm really proud of and that the goddess has gifted me with a very special set of spectacles in which to see the world. And today, I am delighted to bring to you some stories from my own life of moments that brought me back to life through these tiny glimmers, as well as ways to work these examples into a greater theme so that you can experience more moments of champagne bubble effervescence, A Scooby Doo mystery van on your desk unexpectedly, and much, much more zany moments of delight to come. And this weekend, I had one of these moments where I was teaching a two hour class called The Everyday Sensualist. And some of you were there. Actually, many of you were there. It was so delicious to get to meet listeners of the podcast live and see you eye to eye. Heart to heart. And also, 48 hours before the class, I came down with a wretched mucosal cough, and you could probably hear it a little bit in my voice now, and had a raging cold right up to the start of the event. Thank you, ibuprofen and adrenaline, for suppressing those cold symptoms. Because, you know, nothing says sensual ism like a mucosal cough. But anyway, I woke up that morning and was feeling pretty wretched. Didn't sleep great the night before and I was like, oh God, I really hope I can pull it together for class today. And I knew I could pull it together, but really be able to deliver the quality of an experience that I had planned and. The moment I curled my hair popped on my turquoise and pearl earrings, my off the shoulder chocolate brown dress. Lit the candles. Brewed the tea. It was like any fear. Doubt, anxiety just melted right out of my body. And this is the power of these tiny glimmers. And one of the things that I seeked so deeply in my work of teaching sensual wisdom is to communicate that these tiny glimmers of sensory aliveness are certainly about feeling good. We're not going to turn away any teaspoons of that. But on a deeper level, remembering who we are. And one of the things that we talked about in the everyday sensualist is the deep hunger and need for women, especially feminine beings, especially, to reclaim our sense of embodied presence in a way that actually works and is designed for the needs of our unique nervous systems. And so one of the things that you'll be hearing about today, one of the things that inspired this episode is that right now through June 25th, the sanctuary, which is our secret garden of feminine presence and Embodied Aliveness, aka membership community, is open for new members, and one of the things that is so integral to the sanctuary and also integral to the concepts of this episode, is that sometimes just being present. Can be and feel really sharp and harsh. And it's like when we look around the world, who the hell wants to stay awake? I ask you, you know, and staying awake and trying to be present sometimes can feel like enduring surgery without any anesthesia. But feminine presence is something different entirely. And this is something we're going to talk about today, is that a feminine approach to presence isn't about just being awake in your mind, but it's about being fully alive and resourced through your body and your senses, and that sometimes it can feel like in order to be resourced, we need a month of medical leave prone on the couch. But that how our body replenishes, particularly for feminine systems, is through 5 to 15 minute practices of dropping into your senses, being filled up by beauty, expressing rather than detaching from what's happening in your inner world. And that's exactly what the sanctuary is designed to support you with, with weekly rituals for your senses. Live embodiment practices with myself and with the community. Monthly embodied living masterclasses. And before we dive into our gems, one last bonus that I want to debut and I'm very excited about is that I shared at the Everyday Sensualist, a brand new 30 day journal that I've created that is a full color gem of a book that walks you through 30 days of small rituals of peace, beauty, pleasure, and presence to create a lifestyle of essentialism in your everyday. So if this is Riesling, your dazzle, please do not wait to head to https://marylofgren.com/sanctuary. There's a link below this episode to learn all about what you receive on the sanctuary journey. You can join us for as little as a month to dip in your pinky toes, but over 80% of our members end up signing up for a full year. And I would be so delighted to welcome you. Garden gates are open now through June 25th. To come home to the one thing that has the power to change everything else, which is the quality of your embodied presence. And with that, let us now dive into today's gems. So our first gem on these tiny moments that bring us back into our bodies and back into our lives, has to do with a story of when I was in the hospital experiencing a pretty distressing time, and I felt so scared and I didn't know what was going to happen. And I was handed, you know, the antibacterial wash, your bum and your hair and your face with all the same soap, you know, just completely strip your acid mantle, which is the protective barrier of your skin. And I took a shower and it was just this overhead fire hose. And then I was delivered a package from home, a suitcase from home that had my beauty products. And I had specially requested a number of different things, including a shea butter body bar that I could massage and melt into my skin. A facial gua sha stone that I could slowly and methodically drain some of the lymph and fluid that was collecting due to stress and fear. I used a facial oil that conditioned and nurtured my face to massage the tightness out of my clenched jaw, and I perfumed the softest parts of my body. Actually, this is a gem that I created in the sanctuary just this past week of a five minute guided anointing audio of the softest, most vulnerable parts of our body. As a gesture of blessing these deep portals to our magnetism, I also applied my makeup, even though it was only the nurses who would see it. And let me tell you something, friends. I was able to move from feeling, frankly, dehumanized. I mean, there are much more dehumanizing environments, especially in this country, than a hospital. And I want to say that the nurses were extremely caring, but, you know, that antibacterial soap is something else. And to go from that to a cloud of lavender, geranium and vanilla. To feel my dry, scratchy skin from the hospital soap just melt into relaxation from the shea butter. It was the most beautiful restoration and it reminds me. I've told this story before on the podcast, but of when my mom recently had knee replacement and she took her first shower after being hospitalized and in a lot of pain. And afterwards I was like, mom, can I give you a massage with this delicious lime basil mandarin body cream? And I massaged her feet and up and down her legs and, well, avoiding the knee, of course, across her belly, across her chest, up and down her arms. And, you know, just allowed her to rest once again, not just in the sterile way of sleep or lying prone, but in a way where her senses were softly and subtly seduced into relaxation. And afterwards. And this was such a poignant moment. I said to her, do you feel human again? And she said, I feel like a woman again. And going back to what I said at the start of the episode about the way that this presence, this quality of presence that we sometimes call feminine, that is less about sharp edges and kind of a. Beaming spotlight of attention and more. About softening and sinking like a stone through water, down into the deeper parts of yourself, so that you can melt into the embrace of pleasure and peace and presence. It's like that, to me, is the ultimate firehose of resourcefulness and really changes and impacts how we show up in the world, how we see ourselves, how we relate to others. And so taking this gem forward into your life, a question that you might ask yourself is, where does life feel sharp and angular that might benefit from Softening into rounder edges. Through beauty. Through the senses. Through moving from the tight, sharper corners of the mind and the thoughts into the voluptuous curves of your heart. And just recently in the sanctuary, we are wrapping up a month of sacred curves. So each month we choose a theme like a bracelet. And then throughout the month, through these tiny rituals and small practices, we add to that bracelet with these tiny charms. And that was one of our journaling prompts. Conversation prompts this month was, where am I bringing straight lines that could really benefit from softening edges? And so I invite you to drop that into your own body and your own being as you move through your life this week. The next gem and story takes me back about 20 years to a dusty Times Square attic dance studio, where I stood in front of a mirror under surprisingly low dance studio lights. And there are all these funny props in the room that I remember and stage items. And it was a space I had rented for two hours to have a private burlesque lesson with Joe Weldon, who has been a guest on our podcast, and I wanted Joe to teach me a fan dance because I was graduating from Mama Gina's School of Womanly Arts, which is a school that I used to work for and also be a part of. And the school is entirely devoted to pleasure and sensuality, and it felt like just such an extraordinary way to symbolize my transformation in that school, to do a striptease at graduation in front of 250 people. Why not? And I remember standing in front of the mirror, you know, with these giant white feather fans wrapped around me like angel wings and feeling like this retro archetypal siren had just emerged from my body. And Joe said, okay, do you want to learn how to twirl tassels? And I was like, yeah. And I had always, you know, I've, I've shared many times on the podcast about my history with body image and feeling like I couldn't wear short sleeves in the summertime, much less a bathing suit or anything that showed skin. And I had experienced such a profound transformation in my body image, except for my belly and my breasts. I still felt super self-conscious about those parts of my body. And Joe showed me how to take double sided body tape and place it inside a nipple tassel, and bedazzle and biddick my nipples with these gorgeous sequined tassels. And I stood in front of the mirror, and Joe taught me how to lift my arms, balance on the balls of my feet, and twirl the tassels in one direction, how to lean to one side and twirl them in the other direction. Action. This took a little bit more practice over a couple of months, but how to shimmy my shoulders so that they both twirled on their own, like in opposite directions. And here was the same belly, same breasts. But in this experience of the zany joy of sequins, tassels and shaking, it was like this motion that previously would have probably horrified me, made me laugh, and made me feel like I was five years old. And I remember after that event, I was like, everyone in the world needs to know about this. Every single human alive needs to know how to do this. And one of my friends had a party, and I brought all of the tassels that I could get my hands on, and I taught the whole party how to twirl, including her husband, which was extraordinary. Still remember those gold sequin numbers, Tom? And so this gem. Is this experience of feeling a part of my body that was frozen and hiding, and you might have a part of your body that feels frozen and hiding. And in this experience, you know, transformation certainly happened. I mean, just this experience alone wasn't like waving a magic wand. There was a lifetime of work on more, deeper parts of my psyche that led up to that. But I will never forget the way that fun and zany joy created an acceleration of my healing that no amount of intellectualizing and self-reflection could ever create. And so, in your own life, you know, overlaying this as is there a part of my body that feels hiding and frozen? Is there a part of myself or my psyche that feels hiding and frozen? And how might I stick a tassel on it? Throw some glitter and sequins in the air and celebrate it to usher it back into wholeness through zany joy. And our last gem kind of threads all of these gems together. And it's called turning emergency surgery into art. So many years ago, my mom had an issue where she had to have a really major surgery in a true emergency, and it was incredibly scary and unsettling. And I was living in New York at the time, and she was living in the southeast. And I knew that if I was to get through that experience of being with her and be just not even being with her, I mean, being with her was a joy, but being in the uncertainty about her condition. That I would have to soften that experience with so much pleasure and so much sensual joy. And so, packing my suitcase last minute, I included dresses. I think I brought like six pairs of shoes, accessories, hats, you know, the full gamut. I flew down to her and brought multiple orchids into the hospital to adorn her room. Those were promptly removed by the ICU nurses, but still, I brought this delicious lavender sandalwood body balm where I massaged her feet and played spa music and just created an environment for healing. You know, I think that that in fact, when I was talking earlier about my own hospital stay, every time I've been in the hospital, I've had the thought, God, it would be so great if they just had a. Pleasure, administrator. You know, somebody who can offer healing services like foot massage and aromatherapy and all these things that take mending to the next level of healing. And I remember making beautiful dinners. I remember drinking a glass of Chardonnay while listening to Billie Holiday, making pasta dinners at home to freeze and to have on hand. I remember dazzling the nursing staff with cute outfits, baking them things. And, you know, let's be honest, I was surfing high waves of adrenaline and had a lot of energy to do this. But what was amazing about it is that it took an experience that could have been deeply traumatic. And the infusion and inclusion of pleasure and the senses and these tiny bursts of joy through sensual aliveness Transformed it into one of the most sacred and dear experiences of my life. And this is another thing that we talked about in the everyday Sensualist workshop is many of the peak moments of sensual ism in my life had absolutely nothing to do with the traditional understanding of sensuality, but that sure would make a fun episode, wouldn't it? I was just pausing the audio as I was thinking about what I wanted to say next. And maybe sanctuary members. That'll be one of our private podcasts. I record much more personal episodes in the sanctuary than I share here. Another little plug for our community. But you know, it's moments like this one that I'm describing with my mom, moments like hand making an engagement sign with my good friend Abby for our other good friends, a little mini private engagement dinner party, and crafting grapefruit pomegranate mocktails together. It's like. The more I develop as a sensualist, the less and less I seek these peak experiences of intensity and am more deeply nourished by these small glimmers of peace, pleasure, and presence woven into my life. And that is something that I wish for everyone who is within earshot of this podcast. And as we know, all of these things get easier with practice. And not just practice alone, but practice in community where you can be inspired. Just today, I was responding to a post in our sanctuary members community about aging, and one of our members brought it forward as a topic, and it's been so incredible to read each woman's experience, responses, Strength around it. Reframing of it. And this is just another example of the way that feminine beings co regulate and find presence. Through community experiences, we are less apt to find regulation through solitary practices that require rigor and discipline and stillness. We are more apt to find regulation in places where we can be seen, felt and understood and expressed. And so if this community sounds like a place where you would like to plant yourself to make radiant feminine presence not just a solo practice, but really your natural way of being. Come join us in the sanctuary. Open now for a limited time. Last day to enroll for new members is June 25th. And as a reminder, you also will get to experience the brand new everyday Sensualist guided full color journal and workbook. And may this episode lead to ribbon upon ribbon of zany joy curling through your life. I'll see you next time. Ciao! For more gems on how to make radiant Feminine Presence your natural way of being. Head to Mary lofgren.com. There you can check out our free gallery of gems, rituals, and resources and flirt with deepening your experience of come to your senses by joining our sanctuary community. Come enjoy this treasure box of gems at Mary Lofgren. 

  Three Moments That Brought Me Back To Life 

   Hello beautiful and welcome to the Come to Your Senses podcast. I'm your host, award winning certified feminine embodiment coach, licensed esthetician, and enthusiastic foster dog mama to animals across the land. Mary Lofgren Here we explore how to bring more richness, radiance, peace and pleasure to our lives, homes and hearts through the joy of beauty, the wisdom of the body, the warmth of connection, and the splendor of the senses. I'm so glad you're here. Pull up a pouf and let's dive in. Hello, beautiful beings, and welcome to today's episode, which is all about glimmering, tiny moments that brought me back to life. Now, as I've shared on this podcast many times, I've had a lot of wrecking ball moments in my life that have initiated a rise and a big triumphant comeback. But today's episode is about the little things that we do that bring an unexpected level of life force, often through the medium of zany joy. Okay. I am a lover of zany joy. And what inspired this episode is, when I was a teenager, I used to volunteer in the office at my mom's office. She was a home health nurse, and she worked in an office of all women, and I was just obsessed with answering the phone. And I loved to say thank you for calling. Insert name of company Home Health. This is Mary speaking. How may I help you? It made me feel so adult and I think it was the seedlings of myself as an entrepreneur. But anyway, there was a woman who worked in the office, Georgia. And actually, I know that some of my mom's colleagues from that time listen to this podcast, Elbow in you and the ribs. Sandy and Georgia would always say to me, Mary, you're so fun. You know I would. Be notorious for putting stickers on memos, and I would, whenever I would go eat fast food. We ate a lot of fast food when I was a teenager. I would always get a Happy Meal because I loved getting the toy and I would leave the toys on people's desks. And you know, it's always been a talent and a passion of mine to bring the effervescence and the champagne bubbles to a situation. On one side of the spectrum. I think that was a coping mechanism growing up, to bring humor into difficult situations. And as an adult, it continues to be that at times. But it also, I think and I feel is a unique trait that I'm really proud of and that the goddess has gifted me with a very special set of spectacles in which to see the world. And today, I am delighted to bring to you some stories from my own life of moments that brought me back to life through these tiny glimmers, as well as ways to work these examples into a greater theme so that you can experience more moments of champagne bubble effervescence, A Scooby Doo mystery van on your desk unexpectedly, and much, much more zany moments of delight to come. And this weekend, I had one of these moments where I was teaching a two hour class called The Everyday Sensualist. And some of you were there. Actually, many of you were there. It was so delicious to get to meet listeners of the podcast live and see you eye to eye. Heart to heart. And also, 48 hours before the class, I came down with a wretched mucosal cough, and you could probably hear it a little bit in my voice now, and had a raging cold right up to the start of the event. Thank you, ibuprofen and adrenaline, for suppressing those cold symptoms. Because, you know, nothing says sensual ism like a mucosal cough. But anyway, I woke up that morning and was feeling pretty wretched. Didn't sleep great the night before and I was like, oh God, I really hope I can pull it together for class today. And I knew I could pull it together, but really be able to deliver the quality of an experience that I had planned and. The moment I curled my hair popped on my turquoise and pearl earrings, my off the shoulder chocolate brown dress. Lit the candles. Brewed the tea. It was like any fear. Doubt, anxiety just melted right out of my body. And this is the power of these tiny glimmers. And one of the things that I seeked so deeply in my work of teaching sensual wisdom is to communicate that these tiny glimmers of sensory aliveness are certainly about feeling good. We're not going to turn away any teaspoons of that. But on a deeper level, remembering who we are. And one of the things that we talked about in the everyday sensualist is the deep hunger and need for women, especially feminine beings, especially, to reclaim our sense of embodied presence in a way that actually works and is designed for the needs of our unique nervous systems. And so one of the things that you'll be hearing about today, one of the things that inspired this episode is that right now through June 25th, the sanctuary, which is our secret garden of feminine presence and Embodied Aliveness, aka membership community, is open for new members, and one of the things that is so integral to the sanctuary and also integral to the concepts of this episode, is that sometimes just being present. Can be and feel really sharp and harsh. And it's like when we look around the world, who the hell wants to stay awake? I ask you, you know, and staying awake and trying to be present sometimes can feel like enduring surgery without any anesthesia. But feminine presence is something different entirely. And this is something we're going to talk about today, is that a feminine approach to presence isn't about just being awake in your mind, but it's about being fully alive and resourced through your body and your senses, and that sometimes it can feel like in order to be resourced, we need a month of medical leave prone on the couch. But that how our body replenishes, particularly for feminine systems, is through 5 to 15 minute practices of dropping into your senses, being filled up by beauty, expressing rather than detaching from what's happening in your inner world. And that's exactly what the sanctuary is designed to support you with, with weekly rituals for your senses. Live embodiment practices with myself and with the community. Monthly embodied living masterclasses. And before we dive into our gems, one last bonus that I want to debut and I'm very excited about is that I shared at the Everyday Sensualist, a brand new 30 day journal that I've created that is a full color gem of a book that walks you through 30 days of small rituals of peace, beauty, pleasure, and presence to create a lifestyle of essentialism in your everyday. So if this is Riesling, your dazzle, please do not wait to head to Mary Lofgren Sanctuary. There's a link below this episode to learn all about what you receive on the sanctuary journey. You can join us for as little as a month to dip in your pinky toes, but over 80% of our members end up signing up for a full year. And I would be so delighted to welcome you. Garden gates are open now through June 25th. To come home to the one thing that has the power to change everything else, which is the quality of your embodied presence. And with that, let us now dive into today's gems. So our first gem on these tiny moments that bring us back into our bodies and back into our lives, has to do with a story of when I was in the hospital experiencing a pretty distressing time, and I felt so scared and I didn't know what was going to happen. And I was handed, you know, the antibacterial wash, your bum and your hair and your face with all the same soap, you know, just completely strip your acid mantle, which is the protective barrier of your skin. And I took a shower and it was just this overhead fire hose. And then I was delivered a package from home, a suitcase from home that had my beauty products. To feel my dry, scratchy skin from the hospital soap just melt into relaxation from the shea butter. It was the most beautiful restoration and it reminds me. I've told this story before on the podcast, but of when my mom recently had knee replacement and she took her first shower after being hospitalized and in a lot of pain. And afterwards I was like, mom, can I give you a massage with this delicious lime basil mandarin body cream? And I massaged her feet and up and down her legs and, well, avoiding the knee, of course, across her belly, across her chest, up and down her arms. And, you know, just allowed her to rest once again, not just in the sterile way of sleep or lying prone, but in a way where her senses were softly and subtly seduced into relaxation. And afterwards. And this was such a poignant moment. I said to her, do you feel human again? And she said, I feel like a woman again. And going back to what I said at the start of the episode about the way that this presence, this quality of presence that we sometimes call feminine, that is less about sharp edges and kind of a. Beaming spotlight of attention and more. About softening and sinking like a stone through water, down into the deeper parts of yourself, so that you can melt into the embrace of pleasure and peace and presence. It's like that, to me, is the ultimate firehose of resourcefulness and really changes and impacts how we show up in the world, how we see ourselves, how we relate to others. And so taking this gem forward into your life, a question that you might ask yourself is, where does life feel sharp and angular that might benefit from Softening into rounder edges. Through beauty. Through the senses. Through moving from the tight, sharper corners of the mind and the thoughts into the voluptuous curves of your heart. And just recently in the sanctuary, we are wrapping up a month of sacred curves. So each month we choose a theme like a bracelet. And then throughout the month, through these tiny rituals and small practices, we add to that bracelet with these tiny charms. And that was one of our journaling prompts. Conversation prompts this month was, where am I bringing straight lines that could really benefit from softening edges? And so I invite you to drop that into your own body and your own being as you move through your life this week. The next gem and story takes me back about 20 years to a dusty Times Square attic dance studio, where I stood in front of a mirror under surprisingly low dance studio lights. And there are all these funny props in the room that I remember and stage items. And it was a space I had rented for two hours to have a private burlesque lesson with Joe Weldon, who has been a guest on our podcast, and I wanted Joe to teach me a fan dance because I was graduating from Mama Gina's School of Womanly Arts, which is a school that I used to work for and also be a part of. And the school is entirely devoted to pleasure and sensuality, and it felt like just such an extraordinary way to symbolize my transformation in that school, to do a striptease at graduation in front of 250 people. Why not? And I remember standing in front of the mirror, you know, with these giant white feather fans wrapped around me like angel wings and feeling like this retro archetypal siren had just emerged from my body. And Joe said, okay, do you want to learn how to twirl tassels? And I was like, yeah. And I had always, you know, I've, I've shared many times on the podcast about my history with body image and feeling like I couldn't wear short sleeves in the summertime, much less a bathing suit or anything that showed skin. And I had experienced such a profound transformation in my body image, except for my belly and my breasts. I still felt super self-conscious about those parts of my body. And Joe showed me how to take double sided body tape and place it inside a nipple tassel, and bedazzle and biddick my nipples with these gorgeous sequined tassels. And I stood in front of the mirror, and Joe taught me how to lift my arms, balance on the balls of my feet, and twirl the tassels in one direction, how to lean to one side and twirl them in the other direction. Action. This took a little bit more practice over a couple of months, but how to shimmy my shoulders so that they both twirled on their own, like in opposite directions. And here was the same belly, same breasts. But in this experience of the zany joy of sequins, tassels and shaking, it was like this motion that previously would have probably horrified me, made me laugh, and made me feel like I was five years old. And I remember after that event, I was like, everyone in the world needs to know about this. Every single human alive needs to know how to do this. And one of my friends had a party, and I brought all of the tassels that I could get my hands on, and I taught the whole party how to twirl, including her husband, which was extraordinary. Still remember those gold sequin numbers, Tom? And so this gem. Is this experience of feeling a part of my body that was frozen and hiding, and you might have a part of your body that feels frozen and hiding. And in this experience, you know, transformation certainly happened. I mean, just this experience alone wasn't like waving a magic wand. There was a lifetime of work on more, deeper parts of my psyche that led up to that. But I will never forget the way that fun and zany joy created an acceleration of my healing that no amount of intellectualizing and self-reflection could ever create. And so, in your own life, you know, overlaying this as is there a part of my body that feels hiding and frozen? Is there a part of myself or my psyche that feels hiding and frozen? And how might I stick a tassel on it? Throw some glitter and sequins in the air and celebrate it to usher it back into wholeness through zany joy. And our last gem kind of threads all of these gems together. And it's called turning emergency surgery into art. So many years ago, my mom had an issue where she had to have a really major surgery in a true emergency, and it was incredibly scary and unsettling. And I was living in New York at the time, and she was living in the southeast. And I knew that if I was to get through that experience of being with her and be just not even being with her, I mean, being with her was a joy, but being in the uncertainty about her condition. That I would have to soften that experience with so much pleasure and so much sensual joy. And so, packing my suitcase last minute, I included dresses. I think I brought like six pairs of shoes, accessories, hats, you know, the full gamut. I flew down to her and brought multiple orchids into the hospital to adorn her room. Those were promptly removed by the ICU nurses, but still, I brought this delicious lavender sandalwood body balm where I massaged her feet and played spa music and just created an environment for healing. You know, I think that that in fact, when I was talking earlier about my own hospital stay, every time I've been in the hospital, I've had the thought, God, it would be so great if they just had a. Pleasure, administrator. You know, somebody who can offer healing services like foot massage and aromatherapy and all these things that take mending to the next level of healing. And I remember making beautiful dinners. I remember drinking a glass of Chardonnay while listening to Billie Holiday, making pasta dinners at home to freeze and to have on hand. I remember dazzling the nursing staff with cute outfits, baking them things. And, you know, let's be honest, I was surfing high waves of adrenaline and had a lot of energy to do this. But what was amazing about it is that it took an experience that could have been deeply traumatic. And the infusion and inclusion of pleasure and the senses and these tiny bursts of joy through sensual aliveness Transformed it into one of the most sacred and dear experiences of my life. And this is another thing that we talked about in the everyday Sensualist workshop is many of the peak moments of sensual ism in my life had absolutely nothing to do with the traditional understanding of sensuality, but that sure would make a fun episode, wouldn't it? I was just pausing the audio as I was thinking about what I wanted to say next. And maybe sanctuary members. That'll be one of our private podcasts. I record much more personal episodes in the sanctuary than I share here. Another little plug for our community. But you know, it's moments like this one that I'm describing with my mom, moments like hand making an engagement sign with my good friend Abby for our other good friends, a little mini private engagement dinner party, and crafting grapefruit pomegranate mocktails together. It's like. The more I develop as a sensualist, the less and less I seek these peak experiences of intensity and am more deeply nourished by these small glimmers of peace, pleasure, and presence woven into my life. And that is something that I wish for everyone who is within earshot of this podcast. And as we know, all of these things get easier with practice. And not just practice alone, but practice in community where you can be inspired. Just today, I was responding to a post in our sanctuary members community about aging, and one of our members brought it forward as a topic, and it's been so incredible to read each woman's experience, responses, Strength around it. Reframing of it. And this is just another example of the way that feminine beings co regulate and find presence. Through community experiences, we are less apt to find regulation through solitary practices that require rigor and discipline and stillness. We are more apt to find regulation in places where we can be seen, felt and understood and expressed. And so if this community sounds like a place where you would like to plant yourself to make radiant feminine presence not just a solo practice, but really your natural way of being. Come join us in the sanctuary. Open now for a limited time. Last day to enroll for new members is June 25th. And as a reminder, you also will get to experience the brand new everyday Sensualist guided full color journal and workbook. And may this episode lead to ribbon upon ribbon of zany joy curling through your life. I'll see you next time. Ciao! For more gems on how to make radiant Feminine Presence your natural way of being. Head to https://marylofgren.com/ There you can check out our free gallery of gems, rituals, and resources and flirt with deepening your experience of come to your senses by joining our sanctuary community. Come enjoy this treasure box of gems at Mary Lofgren.