Episode 156 - How To Create A Big Dream: The Sanctuary Is OPEN!
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Episode - 156
00:02
Hello, beautiful beings, and welcome to Come to your Senses. Today we are tooting the horns and tossing the ticker tape out into the streets because this is a very exciting day in my world, in your world and in the world of the Come to your Senses community. This is the day where the sanctuary is opened and revealed, and so, before we say anything else, I invite you to head to the link in the show notes of this episode, or type in the mouthful of https://schoolofsensualliving.com/sanctuary And so in today's episode, of course, I'm excited to share with you about the sanctuary, but what I also want to share with you is a little bit of a behind the scenes on how I take the seed of an idea, hide it under a sink, hide it in the shadows for as long as possible, for as long as possible and finally, after sometimes much begrudging, I'm willing to sprout it and put it out into the world. I imagine that, from where you might be sitting, it looks somewhat seamless, and you know how do you come up with these ideas and then just put them out into the world, and I want to share a little bit about that process today to help you nurture the seedlings of the impossible or the never created before and spark that flame of radiance that nurtures your dreams into being. And so, to start that process and to start that story, we'll begin with chapter one.
02:52
It's 2020. It's June, I'm in a friend's Airbnb, it's pandemic time. I fled New York City at the start of the pandemic, where I had moved just two months prior. I felt as lost as we all did during that time of so many unknowns and life being reduced to a simplicity that we never expected, and I thought well, if there's ever a time to start a podcast, as I had been thinking about doing for years, this is the time. And so I sat at this little marble topped table in my friend Elizabeth's Airbnb that she was so generous to allow me to stay in for a few months. Winnie was in my lap and I recorded our first episode called Reimagining Sensuality, and this is where I find all great projects, creations.
03:57
Art begins is the simple statement of I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I'm just doing it anyway. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, or I didn't have a plan for anything beyond the first episode. I just got out my microphone. I had experience with teaching in the past and also throughout my coaching career, and so I felt pretty confident in that aspect and I taught myself how to audio edit. I discovered websites where you could download stock music and off we went. And here we are four years later, almost to the day, and we have collected over 150 episodes in our treasure box. So if you go to https://schoolofsensualliving.com/sanctuary you can find the full episode library which, again when I was creating the podcast, I just had no idea what was ahead of me that I would create over 150 20 plus minute basically masterclasses in all sorts of topic, like reigniting your radiance with a feminine spiritual practice, how to make your mind and body BFFs, the art of red lipstick, the art of luxurious evenings, and I had no idea how deeply this would also touch the hearts of my listeners and I'll save the ego inflation of sharing some of your feedback over the years. But please know that the reviews that you have left and the feedback that you've given me in our community survey and the way that this podcast creates an opening in your own heart and mind to an inner sanctuary where you can leave the noise of the world behind and sink into an experience of peace and beauty and pleasure that touches me so deeply. And my experience with creativity and creating is that these projects all have a mind and a life of their own and they shape, shift over time.
06:38
I experienced this with my work as Kitty Cavalier, which was my first foray into having my own business when I was a burlesque performer. That started as just teaching burlesque classes as a way to love and enjoy your body. That evolved into a whole body of work called seduction as a spiritual practice, called Seduction as a Spiritual Practice. And then Kitty Cavalier became too small a garment to contain the woman that I was becoming, the side of me that loved seduction and sensuality and teas and all of those yummy, delicious elements. Of this, one aspect of femininity was really only one pixel of the full prism of gifts that I felt I wanted to offer the world. And so I made a decision to let go of the persona of Kitty Cavalier, and again, at that time, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. So if you hear yourself saying in the midst of making a bold decision, I don't know what the hell I'm doing, just know that you're on track, you are right on time, my friend, and as something beautiful ends, something beautiful is also being born, because from the ashes of Kitty Cavalier rose the phoenix of come to your senses.
08:18
When that line I don't know what the hell I'm doing up, there's a second part to it, which is I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I know I must do this. You know, with Kitty Cavalier, I felt the filly of what was next, banging against the stall door for probably two years, and I remember one time teaching a seduction class, and I put on my boa and my vintage slip and my red lipstick and I looked at myself in the mirror. This was a very dynasty moment and I literally fell to my knees, crying right there in front of the mirror. This is a very dynasty moment, and I literally fell to my knees, crying right there in front of the mirror, feeling like I can't go out there like this anymore, like this used to be who I am, but it's not who I am today. It was a moment of deep conviction that I did not know what was coming next, and it terrified me. But it's like that nice nin quote, the one about the bud.
09:33
There came the day when the pain of blossoming became lesser than the pain of remaining in a tight bud, and so if you find yourself lost or feeling like something's not working in your life, that's because, as feminine beings especially, we tend to go right to self-blame of I must just not be doing this right, or I must just not be working hard enough, or I must just need to stick it out. Be working hard enough or I must just need to stick it out. And sometimes that might be the case. But sometimes you might just need to give your bud a little space to open up further, even though you're not sure what direction those petals might unfold. And I found myself in this same spot several months ago, when I could feel the filly of the sanctuary pawing or hooving at the door and I didn't know it was called the sanctuary.
10:42
At the time, I knew something was up and something was going on within my bud, because when I would come to sit down and record episodes, it was like getting blood from a stone. I just felt like my wellspring of creativity was completely dried up and I was just reaching deep and forcing myself to record, because I have a commitment to you and a commitment to myself, and I love the container and the accountability of commitment, and sometimes there comes a point where commitment becomes a cage that holds us back, a cage that holds us back. And so a few months ago, I set out on an adventure to explore, moving to California, and, as some of you who have been listening since then know, I intended to take a week, maybe two, and I took more, like eight to 10. And I used that time because when I was trying to speak and create, nothing was coming out. I used that time as a place to listen, and to listen deep, and not just to listen to myself and the voice of spirit as it expresses through my work, but to also listen to you. And I sent out a community survey and I got lots of wonderful feedback on what you receive from this podcast and what you want more of and the shift you're seeking to have in your life that keep you coming back to the come to your senses.
12:30
Well, another key to open up a new doorway of awareness within yourself is a question to ask yourself of in places where you might feel stuck creatively or uncertain about what is asking to be born through you, taking the microphone off of talking and instead dropping into that deep state of listening. So where am I trying to dominate this and control this? And instead, where do I need to actually be quiet and listen to a voice that can't be heard unless the voices of dominance and control are quieted? And in my experience of deep listening, one of the practices that I kept coming back to is the practice of two-way prayer. Two-way prayer and I recorded a little brief interlude in between my eight to 10 weeks where I talked about the practice that's changing my life, and I'll include a link to that little mini episode in the show notes and two-way prayer is something that I've practiced before and kind of come to intuitively, but that I really started practicing in earnest when I heard Elizabeth Gilbert talking about it on the we Can Do Hard Things podcast, and Elizabeth Gilbert has a Substack community called Letters from Love, where everyone does this one simple practice and Liz shares very generously from her own practice of writing to unconditional love.
14:17
What would you have me know today? And then allowing unconditional love to write back through her own hand? Through her own hand, and in that practice I kept asking love, spirit, god, whatever word resonates for you what would you have me know about these next steps in my business? You know, I feel confused, I feel lost, I feel cloudy and sometimes love I mean love is always poetic when it writes back to me, but this time love was very direct and said Mary, you are not confused, you are not lost, you are hiding. You are hiding your gifts and your deeper desire, which is to have come to your senses, be a true community rather than a group of unknown souls that you speak to through a microphone and the invisible threads of the internet every week. Oh, I love and hate it when love drops a truth bomb, as love often does. And so a question to drop in around this gem is it possible that being lost and confused is really just a story that keeps you from owning the vulnerability of your deeper desire, and so, in my own unearthing of the gems that reside in the deeper levels of cool soil in my heart, there are a few shifts and changes that are going to be happening here on the podcast over the next couple of weeks.
16:09
A whole new dimension of the Come to your Senses experience is coming your way, and I'm going to share about that more in detail in next week's episode. But because the most shining star in our galaxy today is the sanctuary, to celebrate its birthday, I want to tell you a little bit about this final phase of the journey of building a dream, which, from my experience, is where we fall in love so deeply with the purpose and the mission and the vision of what it is we want to create, that the work and the labor of creating it becomes possible. And when it comes to the sanctuary and my purpose and my vision, it all centers around one thing, which is the power of the pause. With all the distractions and pressures that life brings, slowing down to pause can be a radical act. To me, this is where our deepest magic and most authentic power lies is in the pause, and if you are like me, you have taken many journeys into finding respite in the heart of the pause, through spiritual paths like seated meditation or vision quests or studying theology or fasting, just to name a few.
18:11
And as a feminine oriented soul, and also as someone who experiences complex trauma, I don't need any help being hard on myself and doing extreme things in the name of enlightenment. Where I need a little help, and where I have most seen the face of the unnameable force we sometimes call God, is through a feminine path that glitters with beauty and sensuality and the comfort and radiance of simple pleasures. And that's not to say that one is better than the other. In no way do I mean even a lick of disrespect to traditional mindfulness methods and the extensive lineage of presence and spirituality that our human species has developed over many, many years. But, as Rumi said, let the beauty you love be what you do.
19:09
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground, and so the sanctuary is a home, a haven for those of us who crave a path to presence that ripples with the sweetness of mindfulness, meeting an experience of luxurious living, and so the way that we do that is with these small spoonfuls, such as the weekly charm, which is a weekly audio lesson from me that also includes a small ritual of loveliness. I mean, don't you just want to drink that in? Who doesn't want a small ritual of loveliness to rest into in their week? I mean, come on. But the ritual of loveliness takes things that you are already doing, like washing your face or washing the dishes, or talking to your beloved or talking to your coworkers, and enfolds in the sparkle of sensuality and beauty and divinity to slowly start to adjust the frequency of your day-to-day and layer in more moments of charm.
20:40
Each month we explore a different theme that these charms support. So in some of my other programs I'll do 60, 90 minute masterclasses and retreats to really pump you with information in one sitting. But in the sanctuary we take one topic per month and you are hand fed small spoonfuls on things like little sensory touches that create peace in your mind, home and heart, sacred skincare and blissful beauty rituals. I'm reading to you the roster of the next few months luxurious living spaces, befriending your mind and beautifying your neural pathways. We also have a live practice date each week and that is called the sanctuary spa, and so, just like in a meditation community where you might gather for 30 minutes of meditation. These spa sessions follow a sumptuous rotation of practicing the weekly charm together in community.
21:58
I have the most luxurious. Together in community. I have the most luxurious decadent beauty rituals that I am so excited to share with you. Live in these sessions, writing and creativity rituals, and again it's dipping in for 30 minutes of mindfulness with that feminine flavor. There is a music and meditation garden and there are a number of other benefits.
22:28
But the really exciting thing I want to share with you, especially because this piece is time sensitive, is that there is a special opening celebration savings. There is a special opening celebration savings and so the regular rate to join the sanctuary, if you want to do the monthly membership, which is the most flexible way to join the journey. Normally that is 95 a month, but for the month of June it is being offered at 79 a month, at $79 a month, and if you decide to join us annually, which again includes some of those additional benefits and a bigger savings, it's $790 a year, which is essentially three months free, a $350 savings. And because personal connection and long-term relationships are one of my most cherished values at Come to your Senses and when I work with clients, I really want to celebrate those who come and join us for a year. You're more than welcome and I celebrate you too if you want to come and join us and just try us out for a month.
23:43
But for the first five Sanctuaryettes who sign up for the annual membership, you'll also receive a private one-on-one embodiment coaching session with me. So those will go quickly. This is opening day, so head on over to the link below this episode https://schoolofsensualliving.com/sanctuary and I am so happy and so delighted to just finally be here. You know, in the spirit of behind the scenes it's difficult to describe the level of thought that goes into something like this, and anticipation and building and refinement and out there in the world, and that beautiful souls from all over the globe are assembling just makes my heart sing, thank you.
THE DAY HAS COME! The garden gates to the new Come To Your Senses Sanctuary are now open ! Click here to step inside! I could not be more excited to share this garden of peace, pleasure, and presence with you.
This dream has been brewing for over four years, since the day I first sat down to a record my first episode. In the process of creating my dreams, I've observed that there are stages. It usually starts with hiding the seed of an idea in the dark as long as possible because revealing it, while thrilling, is also terrifying. If that sounds familiar, you're on the right track!
In today's episode, we not only celebrate the reveal of the Sanctuary, but also the grit, guts and gorgeousness that go into creating big dreams.
Enjoy the episode, and I hope to see you soon inside The Sanctuary!
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