Episode 147 - The Art of Thoughtful Gift Giving
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Episode 147 - The Art of Thoughtful Gift Giving
Hello, beautiful beings, and welcome to come to your senses. Welcome to today's episode, which is a topic I could really muse on for hours and hours, because it is one of my favorite things to do, to think about, to practice, and that is the art of thoughtful gifting. So I am a things kind of girl as much as my inner, wearing all white, goes to Kundalini yoga three times a week. I've never actually even been to a Kundalini yoga class, but my inner spiritual purist would like to pretend I don't love material things. I really do and, that said, I love collecting and curating material things that are thoughtful and meaningful.
01:04
So over Christmas I got the most amazing gift that I asked for. It is this Musee dorset viewfinder. I saw it in a friend's bathroom once. She had it just kind of out as decoration and it's like the little viewfinders from the 80s, but it's got all this beautiful art by Van Gogh and Monet and, oh my god, it's just the most amazing, distinctive, character laden item in my home and I was showing it to someone on my gift Pinterest board. I keep a Pinterest board of just things that people might want to give to me someday that I don't think I would spend money on in the moment, but that would make a great gift. And I sent it to my family a long time ago and anyway, I was showing it to someone and I was like, oh, it's been purchased because it was on eBay. And then my brother gave it to me for Christmas, which was so exciting to open and it's just one of my most cherished items.
02:13
And so today's episode centers all around how to give gifts that are just dripping in meaning and value and personalization, and how to truly make thoughtful gift giving an art. So, just like any other art form, how there's lots and lots of creative process that goes into it and hits and misses and colors and expression, so too is there an art to gift giving. And so in this episode you're going to learn about how to listen and craft your attention to really see people, and see not just what they might need, like a new shirt, but what the deepest parts of them that they may not even be conscious of themselves might desire, and how to help them feel seen in a gift. You know, to me that's the most satisfying part of artful gift giving is not just the thing I mean don't get me wrong I love watching someone luxuriate in the smell and aroma of my favorite beauty products, but the experience of opening something and having a part of your soul recognized and reflected through, say, for example, a vintage book oh my gosh. I was just reading this book this morning that my dear friend Andrew got for me and I think it was a going away present for Leaving New York. It's called Natural History of the Senses by Diane Ackerman. Oh, and this was when I was a couple of years into my career, and just to be recognized in that way was so, so special.
04:18
And so let's dive into our gems. But before we do, I do wanna say that newsletter subscribers receive a little extra sprinkle of sparkle on the cupcake of these episodes. So for newsletter subscribers, today I created a secret blog post that has my five gift on hand must haves. So a gift on hand is something you keep in the closet for parties or oh crap, I forgot, it's that person's birthday and I'm seeing them tomorrow. They're simple, they're easy, and I just stock up on these whenever I can, and so if you go to the link below this episode, you'll be able to receive access to that secret blog post, which I would just love to gift to you in the spirit of today's episode.
05:13
So now let's dive into our gems on the art of thoughtful gift giving. So, as an example, the person that I probably have given the most gifts to in my life is my mom, and one of the things that I have certainly done and that I see a lot of people doing and by a lot of people I mean the people that I see give gifts and give gifts to me. I'm not a gifting expert, but I think it's pretty common awareness that I'm not a gift expert, but it's a awareness that when we give a gift, we give from something that we might want. So I have given my mom candles and scrubs and cashmere and all these things that I myself would just delight in receiving. And my mom is really a queen to me and I want her to have all the sensory treasures that she can possibly handle, and my mom enjoys those things, but she doesn't enjoy them in the same way that I do, and a couple of years ago I started to just reflect on the gifts that I give her and noticing her day-to-day routines.
07:02
So when my mom wakes up in the morning, she goes and she makes her breakfast, which usually includes cereal, and then she goes and she does her logic puzzles. She's a big logic puzzle book person and she reads the paper and then she goes and gets dressed and goes on about her day. And so, once again, you know, my vision for my mom is I want her to wake up and be lifted out of the bed by Tweety Bird essential oils and, you know, go in and wash her face with this rose cream cleanser, which is exactly what I want in my own perfect world. But for my mom, she's really happy with her logic puzzles and her week checks, and so when I shifted the focus of my gift giving more to what she might want and need, I would get her things like really cozy, beautiful, fuzzy slippers for her feet to touch first thing when she wakes up in the morning. I got her a bowl for her cereal from this company called Our Name Is Mud, and it has all these statements like you're a goddess, you're the best, you, the mom. Coffee is another big thing that she loves and indulges in every day. So I've gotten her really beautiful mugs, I've gotten her like the highest level of pencils for her logic puzzles, and so that is our first gem is tuning in with the day to day and the reality of your recipient's life and how you might be able to meet them where they are and for who they are. And what I love about this example with my mom is I didn't stop buying her luxury, I just bought her the kind of luxury that she was going to get the most use out of and that helps her feel seen and appreciated for what she loves the most. So that's your first gem.
09:16
The second gem is about adding that personal element to your gifts. So this Christmas one of my favorite gifts that I received was from my friend Ali. She came in from a seven hour road trip and handed me a box that was like kind of vomiting bubble wrap and she was like, yeah, seven hours in the car, I didn't have the space to wrap it and I was like, totally no problem. It was even better for that reason. And it was a mug with photos of us from various times of our friendship and it just was so incredibly special and I use it all the time. It's such a powerful reminder of that friendship and when friends come over who know Ali, I'll give them the mug.
10:12
Ali is currently traveling through Europe and Portugal doing her amazing art which is called Lady Groove, where she photographs women and tells their stories Through photography. And if you've ever wanted to see the most extraordinary aspects of yourself immortalized in beauty, go to imladygroovecom. I'll put a link to that in the show notes. She's only in Portugal for a little while longer and she's currently offering discounted shoots. So this is a huge opportunity to leap upon my European friends. It's worth flying in for, I'm telling you, and one of the ways that you can personalize a gift is not just by seeing how the person is in their day to day and what they like and what they love, but seeing one of their desires and giving them a gift that uplifts and amplifies that desire.
11:14
So, for example, one of my good friends has a dream to go to Brazil for several months and study Samba and just have a grand old time living out her dream. And she's also a drummer, she loves to drum, and so when she had a party to celebrate paying off her house and you know this had been a long process, she's single mom and it was a huge celebration, and I'm remembering in this moment that I actually mixed the salad that I brought to that party in the back of my car because I didn't have an ingredient, and so I threw the lettuce in the bowl at my house and then stopped at the store and threw the other ingredient in, just letting you know that that's an option Next time you need to bring something to a party. I thought of it on the spot and felt very proud of myself. But anyway, I wanted to celebrate not just the paying off of the house and that achievement, but also everything that that achievement may lead to in the future and really honor this dream of hers. So I got her a little key chain from Etsy. It's like five dollars and it's a little gem made drum.
12:39
And my friend Veronica Varlo, who is a burlesque goddess and witchy god she's a queen One shared with me that one of the most powerful everyday spells you can cast is your key chain, because every time you put your key in a door, whatever's on the key chain, it's like a symbol of your opening a door to that desire. On my key chain at the present moment I have a horse tail key ring. It's like this beautiful little charm made from a horse's tail. I bought it when I was at a ranch out in Northern California where I would like to live someday. So it's like every time I open my front door, my car door, I'm opening the door to that desire. And I brought it over to Elizabeth's house one night and gave it to her with a beautiful card. And you know, I could have gotten her a beautiful champagne or something like that, but this just felt so tender and so personal and like I see you and I envision this for you and I support this desire for you and I add to the magic of it making it happen. And it was so special.
13:56
So asking yourself the question not only who is this loved one that I'm giving to, but who are they becoming and who are they wanting to step into becoming? That brings me to my next gem, which is gifting someone something that helps them step outside their power zone. So when I say power zone, what I really mean by that is the circle of identity, where this is who they think they are and what they think they deserve and how they think they can show up in the world. And one year for Christmas, I had a boyfriend who was wanting to up level his style and I got him this fabulous felt Stetson hat. And I don't know about you, but as a woman, wearing a hat is a major up level of style, and I feel like for someone who walks through the world with the identity as a man, it is infinitely more of a reclamation of one's style power to add an accessory, and I knew that this partner was wanting to expand into that area of their life and I have, as I said at the start of the episode, a real love of material things and material things that symbolize stepping into new levels and new dimensions for identity.
15:30
The next gem falls in the same line, which is gifting a service. So for Christmas, my brother has a very specific style that he wants to create in his home and I gifted him a few items that I felt aligned with that style. But what I also did is I created a Pinterest board that was all around the theme of this style that he wanted to create, with suggestions around color palettes and candles and just various details to imbue his space with this particular theme, and it didn't cost me a dime. It was so fun to create. And the gift of Pinterest boards and playlists, I think, are such a personalized and totally free way of expressing and communicating how we care and how we see a person.
16:38
One time I had a weekend trist a love affair with someone I had just met in another city, and it was such a beautiful and meaningful encounter and immediately afterwards I made a playlist of songs that just felt like they captured the essence of our time together and sent it to that person and it was so special. I still have it today, I still listen to it all the time and the final gem is a really creative one, which is just money. When I was going through the death of my dog, winnie, my brother sent me a card with money and was like put this towards your self-care budget right now. You know, it wasn't enough to cover like a massage, but maybe it would go towards like a dinner out or some door dash, and it was just so meaningful and thoughtful to know that he not only cared to give me some self-care but he cared to give me the kind of self-care that I really needed.
17:50
And recently I was with a friend who was sharing how sometimes people want to offer help. She's a new mom, single mom, and sometimes people want to offer help and she's like I appreciate that, but food and childcare, food and childcare, food and childcare that's really the only thing I need right now, and so I sent her a little bit of money on Venmo, just spontaneously saying I see you, I see this season you're in, I want to help you. I know I'm not there in person she lives in another place but put this towards the Food and Childcare Fund order. Door dash on Auntie Mary and that concludes our idea gems. But I do want to say that on the webpage for this episode, if you go to the link below this episode in the show notes, it will take you to the webpage for this episode and there there is the option to sign up to receive my five gift closet must haves. So you know when you're going to a party or you're like shit, it's so-and-so's birthday and I'm seeing them tomorrow and I didn't get them a gift.
19:07
There are five things in the range of $10 to $50 that I keep in my cabinet at all times, and they're just universally delicious gifts.
19:21
And so if you go once again to the show notes of this episode and click that link, you'll be able to sign up to receive this free guide, which is available to subscribers of my newsletter, and with that, my loves. Thank you so much for listening. It is a gift to be here with you each week, and if you would like to send back the love in a gift, I would be so grateful to receive a written review on iTunes. You can leave us a review really anywhere you get your podcasts by clicking the five star button but especially on iTunes, where you can write a short sentence or paragraph about what you love about the podcast, which helps us get it into the earlobes of more listeners and just help support us here at Come to your Senses in general. So thank you in advance if you have or are writing a review, and may your gifting be satisfying, sweet and sumptuous and I will see you in our next episode.
00:00 / 20:30
Have you ever received a gift that felt like a key turning in a lock, opening a door to your innermost self? In today's episode I'm sharing how you can create unforgettable moments that say, "I see you, I hear you, I know you" through the art of thoughtful gift giving.
From the story of a symbolic keychain that casts a Samba spell, to a stylish Stetson hat that can uplift a new identity, today's episode is a treasure trove of gifts that keep on giving.
