Episode 144 - Embodying Your Word of The Year
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Mary:
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Hello, beloveds, and welcome to today's episode. Jumping on here before we start to let you know that this episode is actually a recast of the previous year's Word of the Year episode, when I was revisiting how to share this cherished and important practice that I do every year of choosing my Word of the Year. There's really not that much more that I have to say about it than I recorded last year, and so, because we close this time of year anyway, I am sharing this episode again and we will see you with a fresh, brand new episode when we return from holiday break on January 9th. Enjoy, and I can't wait to hear your Word of the Year.
Hello and welcome to the Come to your Senses podcast. I'm your host, embodiment based coach, mary Lofgren. Here we explore how to live bravely and beautifully through a lifestyle of embodiment. You'll hear gems to empower you around mindset, mindfulness, somatic psychology and neuroscience, as well as beauty, food, style and the art of slow living to meet your soul through the senses. I am so happy that you're here. Let's begin.
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the first episode of a new year here at Come to your Senses. Last week, I shared the first chapter in this series around embodying your Word of the Year. And so last week we talked about choosing a Word of the Year that not only looks like what you want to maybe create in the year to come but feels deeply like the vision of how you want to feel in the year to come. And today we're going to talk about taking that even a step further by bringing that word into form through your goals, your dreams, your desires and your actions. I did a little bit of research for this episode into some of the different meanings and etymologies of the word goal. My favorite one that I found is that goal simply means to put a boundary around Boundaries. Whatever you put a boundary around will potentize and intensify what is inside that boundary. And if you're like me, you may have been traumatized by the sometimes over-masculinized approach to creating and to setting your goals. And this comparison between goals and sports. I personally, you know gym class was my least favorite time of the week Cheerleading loved, dance routines, loved. I actually had a campaign to allow us to do aerobics videos while everybody else was playing basketball and kickball, which worked, and because I love to dance and I love to move my body creatively, but moving in a more linear, sports-driven way just doesn't really it's not my jam. And so when I hear words like goal and achieve and things like that, it triggers a response in my system that shuts me down and that also feels like a symptom of this obsession with ones before and after. You know, personally I find before and after consciousness to be kind of a setup for dissatisfaction. It relies on a bit of a shaming and inadequacy viewpoint of what's currently happening, and then this sense of dissatisfaction if one cannot reach the pinnacle of perfection in ones after. And don't get me wrong, I love a good before and after story, I love following restoration accounts of historic homes, but when it comes to my life, I'm much more concerned with right now, keeping my eye on my vision of the future, but being invested in my right now, because what is our future other than a collection of right nows? And so let's dive into our gems, beginning with our language. My friend Veronica Varlo likes to say our words are wands and, as I shared earlier what a goal really means, the root of that word is to put a boundary around. I invite you to notice how these words land in your body that I'm about to share Goal, objective, result, determination, achievement. What I notice in my own body is both a excitement, a quickening, and also a bit of a shutting down, a bit of an eye roll like, oh, it sounds like a lot of work. And now let's try on a different set of words Desire, dream, devotion, creation, design. What I notice in my own body is this like, oh yes, design. I want to design my year. I don't just want to architect it, I want to design it. And yet what I also notice is a little bit of a vague, watery energy, because desires, dreams, these types of things live more in the non-material. And so that's your first gem is to simply sink into how you relate to the creation of your dreams and your goals. And the second is to choose your goal or goals from a place that matches that embodied resonance of your word of the year. And so the next exercise is to think about and list all the things you want to do or improve in this year, or the things you need to do. So for me, that's like I want to hire a tax consultant, I want to get my house organized, I want to work out with the trainer again, I want to take art classes and all of these are great and I want them. But it kind of feels like it comes from my head of just the things that I need to do to keep treading water. And when I call to mind and call to body my word of the year I actually haven't chosen my word of the year yet because I've been in creation for the coterie, but I plan to do that exercise once the coterie begins but I know it has something to do with delight and so when I drop the word delight into my body and I think about what I want to create this year or what my goals might be totally different experience. I think of travel and having play dates and making my goal to take spontaneous road trips with my friends to go to a coveted art gallery or a random boutique. Lots of picnics, lots of booty shorts with a leg warmer, dance classes, lots of dating without any agenda and daring myself to have fun no matter who I'm with on my dates, lots of photo shoots and all of a sudden, like I can feel in my body and even in my language, this bubbling up, this excitement. Louis Schwartzberg has a great quote that beauty and seduction are nature's tools for survival, because we will protect what we fall in love with. The next gem is to keep it so, so simple. It's really common when we're in a dreaming state to think about all these things that we might want to achieve and accomplish and all these different areas of life that we might like to pour our attention on, but the real truth about our human capacity is that we are at our most potent when our focus is on our own, when our focus is devoted to one thing. So whenever I start with a new client, I have them fill out a workbook and there's a visioning exercise where we imagine all of the different areas of life that they might wish to focus on or they might wish to see their dreams materialize in. So this is that more creative, chaotic, unbound energy that we're talking about. And then the most challenging part I find for most clients is choosing one area to focus on. And if that's something that comes up for you too, what I would encourage you to consider is the idea that when one area of life thrives, your other goals and your other areas of life cannot help but be bolstered and fertilized. And for me personally, this year I had a saving school and I had a fitness goal and I came in under my saving school and I didn't even come close to my fitness goal, and I truly believe this was kind of my first year experimenting with having more than one goal. I truly believe that having my focus diverted gave me watered down results in both areas, and so this year I will be very mindful to focus on just one area, and the area that you choose may appear to have nothing to do with your keyword, with the word of the year that you want to embody, for example you know I haven't done the exercise myself for this year yet, but the word that I desire to choose is something having to do with delight, and yet the area that I feel I need to focus on is anger, and so those two might not seem totally compatible, but when I imagine a life free from resentment and where that part of me that shuts down when I feel anger or I'm in the presence of anger, that part of me is integrated and liberated, that would bring in a lot of delight, my friends and, of course, my comfort with anger is not something that's necessarily measurable, so I wouldn't call it a goal, but what I would institute if that becomes my goal is there's a couple of books that I want to read to give my mind some nourishment and some new pathways around anger. But I know, being an embodiment coach, that having an abundance of knowledge about a topic often can only make it worse, because now I not only have my problem, but I have all the reasons why I shouldn't have this problem anymore because I know so much about it. And so what's also essential is following that up with embodiment coaching and working with my therapist, and perhaps even doing a self-defense class, which just scares the bejesus out of me, or maybe I'll join a sports team everybody to generate that feeling of embodied power. And so those are just some seeds that I'm scattering as I consider my goals and my word of the year. And so that's. Your third gem is keeping it so, so simple so that your focus can be so, so potentized. And then the fourth gem is actually an exercise that my good friend, rochelle Sheik, taught me in a Koya class, which is called Alakazam Shazam, and this is a movement exercise that we do, and essentially you grab a partner, and so I'll walk you through it in terms of a Koya class. You grab a partner and you tell them your desire, and your partner then speaks your desire back to you in a completely expanded, amazing, bigger than your wildest dreams kind of vision. And then you do a turn and you say Alakazam Shazam three times. And so this is one example of doing it in an embodied way and in a way that pairs movement, which can help seal it into your cells a little bit deeper. But even if you were to just grab a friend and do this exercise where you paint a vision for one another that is bigger than your ego can even conceive and when I do this with friends, I am mindful not just to include the details of the experience, but also how it's going to feel and what other areas of life are going to thrive as a result of this and the magical surprises that may come along on their path to saying yes to their dream. And that leads us to our final gem, which is the absolute number one, a superior tool and gem that I can give you, which is having accountability partners. There's got to be a sexier way to say that, but you get the picture of what I'm saying. In the coterie, one of the things that was really important to me was having an intimate experience between myself and the other members.
So when I talked about earlier in the episode filling dozens of notebooks, what I realized is that I had been stuck in all these possible configurations because I was modeling my group, offering after what other people were doing like membership programs and trying to make it as accessible as possible to as many people as possible, and also having fresh new content every month and having it be something people could dip in and out of. And the truth is I hate programs like that. You know, personally I'm not a member of any memberships because they feel transactional and sometimes like I'm just being flooded with content and there's not really that embodied heart connection. And that, for me, is how change happens. You know, change, like I said, with reading the books. It's like information can be really helpful and that's why I like to share exercises and tips with you here on the podcast. But ultimately it is relationship that changes us.
And so inside the coterie, one of the features is, in addition to having a smaller group in general, we have Le Petit Coterie, which is a group of other coterie fellows who are your partners for the entire six months. It's a group of about five people and where there is this opportunity to not just have an individual experience, but to have the magic that is so kin to a more feminine approach with goal setting, which is relationship, and that you know, when I have someone else who is on a journey with me, I will not get out of bed for my own ass. People on the other end of this microphone like there are days where I just don't or can't do it, but if I am meeting with someone or if I have a call with someone or I have told them that I'm gonna do something, I will do it, and a lot of my clients wonder why that is. Why can't I do this for myself? Why can't I be accountable to myself? Personally, I think why in this case can be a waste of time and an avoidance tactic. What I know is that the what is that accountability works, and so maybe you share these two podcast episodes with a friend or a group of friends, maybe you join us in the coterie, maybe both but feminine identified beings tend to be more driven by relationship than we are by individuality, and so having your team, your petite coterie, and making those relationships work in a way that works for you. So maybe you don't have a boring Zoom where everyone reports in their actions every month, but maybe you have a seasonal gathering where you meet for a day, or maybe you stay overnight somewhere. Maybe you have a tea party each month at each person's house and each person gets a turn in the hot seat to celebrate their wins and ask for help and support in where they're going next with the creation of their goals.
And the last thing I'll say is that you will be creating this year, no matter what. Every single day, you are creating new things. You're creating your life, you're creating what you want to see, and I often share this quote from the Buddha that our whole life arises from the tip of our intention, and so your energy is going to be going places, no matter if you like it or not, and my hope and prayer is that this episode helps you to be more intentional and reclaim your power of where you divert and where you devote that attention away from that which doesn't serve or interest you and towards what brings you your life force.
And so my love that brings today's episode to a close. If you enjoy what you hear here, know that this is a teaspoon of what you get when you join our small community of beauty lovers, truth seekers and soulful savants in the kothari. Head to a lifewellsavercom. Thank you again for listening. I am so grateful to have you as a listener and I will see you in our next episode.
For coaching classes and community in creating a lifestyle of embodiment, head to schoolofsensuallivingcom, when you'll find a free video series on how to reduce anxiety and intercept the stress response through powerful, confident body language. Head to schoolofsensuallivingcom For more information. Visit wwwsensuallivingcom.
Last week we explored The Art of Choosing Your Word of The Year; bringing a keystone of clarity to the chaos of our deepest aspirations.
But how do we ensure that our intention won’t fizzle out by the time spring’s blossoms start to bud?
Today, you’ll anchor those seeds into the fruitful soil of your very own body and being through The Art of Embodying Your Word of The Year.
In today’s episode you’ll discover how to:
Select aspirations that spark wonder, rather than feeling confined to a checklist of goals
Prioritize the richness of the present while keeping a cat-eye on the future
A personal story about confronting anger to unearth delight
An exercise for envisioning your desires without bounds
Click play to conjure a year full of purpose, pleasure, and PLAY!
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